I loathe mankind for its failure to live up to the potential God has graciously given them, what a shame most of us choose to take the easy road in life or just take no road at all. What would happen if everyone took the effort to live up to all that... God made them to be? Would we then be able to love selflessly and give un selfishly?Read MoreWould we then be able to live amongst one another in peace and harmony? There is a question and an answer for everything. But i do not believe we will ever know the answer to this question. Mankind is a different breed of evil.

xoxo au revoir belle

LET ME GO LET ME RUN

Let me go, let me run
Catch the wind see the sun
I remember this used to be fun
But you held me down pulled me back
Here is not where I want to be
Can’t you see this invisible
chain choking me?

I am ready to run see the sun
be set free find someone
a hero to become one
I open my eyes only to
see you in my dream
My heart begins to race
And beat out of place
I blink my eyes and try not to pace
I’m not a fool I can see all to clear
I wont be lead down this path of fear

Let me go let me run
Catch the wind see the sun
I don’t need to be strong
Cause baby I have been all along
Can’t you see you were wrong?
I’ve began to breathe again
And see what my future holds in hand
Jesus you where right you opened up
A door so bright

Let me go let me run
Catch the wind see the sun
Your hold was strong but I moved on
Began a new and made a way
This choice I made it will not sway
I can’t make you see
All the things you where to me
But now it’s done and over with
I’ve got myself together
This is what’s going to last for ever

Let me go let me run
Catch the wind see the sun
Time is on my side
I no longer have to run and hide
Yesterday is gone maybe I was wrong
You’re a memory that used to be many
But I’m ready and steady
I’m not scared to fall at all
Because I know someone’s gonna
Break down my wall
And my heart will beat again
Thank you my lord amen


He’ll let me catch the wind see the sun
But he’ll never let me go
He’ll never let me run
His hold will be strong
He’ll never let me move on
I know you can’t see
But Jesus has a promise for me
He said my love would come
Sweep me off my feet
and never give up in defeat

Let me go let me run
Catch the wind see the sun
Let me have my chance
And when you find yours
take a risk follow your heart
Don’t let it go don’t let it run
Let it catch the wind see the sun
Fight for it and never give UP!
Give it what you promised me
What was always mine but
obviously not meant to be
Cause someday you will see


Don’t give up don’t look back
Someone loved you once
There’s bound to be another chance
Cause her love was strong
A dying love that would have lasted long
It was bright and it was bold
It was all yours to hold.
You Let it go you let it run
To catch the wind to see the sun

HOW I BEAT IT!

THIS IS WHAT GOT ME THROUGH CANCER TWICE

it says:

i can do all things through christ who strengthens me

Philippians 4:13

FROM RIGHT BEFORE MY 6MONTH SCANS AFTER TREATMENT!

JULY 25, 2009

i try and keep up with this little blog thing but i dont haha i wish i did more often.. cause i know i have a lot to say and a lot to share with people....

But basically im writing this because on monday july 27, 2009 i will be going in for my 6month Tests/Scans... Lets just say that last time i went in for my 6months after treatment scans the cancer had come back... so yeah im a little nervous but i have faith in God.

Man where do i start well the past 6 months i have been out of treatment have been crazy gosh so much has happened i dont even know where to start.. but hey my hair is back haha thats a plus :) even though its at this really awkward stage that im hating right now!! crazy hair... and well lets see i have gone back to work... and soon this fall i will be back to school... and yeah life has just taken off...

and a lot of other things have happened just crazy stuff, stuff that i thought i would never have to GO THROUGH... gosh but God has just made me so strong. There aren't even any words to say to describe the kind of things that God has done in my life over the past few months.. i just keep reminding myself everyday that Life is worth every moment and that everythnig happens for a reason and although the reason right now seems so far away and unclear and at most times really shitty... i know God will not let me down and his perfect plan will be done through everything.

It is so easy to get discouraged and let the bad things take you down. But i just have to keep on pushin on and know that hey tomorrow is never promised! Today is all you have and the future? well yeah it is there but who knows if you will get there! Just living in the moment is what we all need to learn to do.

Yesterday came TODAY IS HERE and tomorrow... well tomorrow may never come.... i have a hard time not FOCUSING on the future and whats going to happen!! i hate that haha i want to be able to just live for today and know that what ever happens or doesnt happen it was what was MEANT TO BE... and whats mean to be will ALWAYS FIND A WAY!!!

am i making any sense!? i hope so cuz haha i feel like i am just rambling on... but basically what i am trying to say is that we all need to just DESTRESS a little and enjoy our gift that is called the PRESENT! because well thats all you have right now!!!

haha SO with all that said... IM not so scared about my scans on Monday because hey realistically who knows if i will make it to monday right!? hahaha but if i do which im sure i will... what EVER happens what EVER those scans say... I AM GOING TO HOLD MY HEAD HIGH suck it up and GO FORWARD!! the worst has already happened to me in so many ways nothing is going to get me down! not now not this time!!!!

i have recently lost a very important person in my life (and not by death haha dont worry) and im very sad that they wont be there to celebrate with me when i find out im cancer free ( notice how i say cancer free cuz i am stronger than the cancer and i say F U cancer go away) haha but yes i am sad about not being able to just call them up screaming and laughing and saying I DID IT... i DID IT!!! i beat cancer and im still here!! But in my heart they will be there cheering me on and i know they will be Happy... so to you the person i am talking about :) thank u for everything you really where my rock!!

So0o0o0o now awwwww today will be a Great day i am sure and im happy to say that I LOVE YOU JESUS thank you for everything...

and to all of you that are feeling discouraged sad depressed lonely hurt crushed tired or just plain our of it... I PROMISE YOU things will get better just have faith in God he will pull you out of the deepest pits!! he wants you to be happy and he wants to take all your hurt and burden away!!! I cant tell you how many times i have felt like i was in the deepest pit that life had to offer only to be PULLED OUT BY GOD!!!!! i promise he will do the same for you!! just keep pushing ON and remember that LIFE IS WORTH LIVING and GOD WILL NEVER LET YOU GO!!!!!!!!!!

* i am sorry for all the mis spelling and typos hahaha but u get what im tryin to say*

i would also like to report that i am cancer FREE everyone the prayers where answered and the scans came back CLEAR!

RiCHES and WANTS

Why is it that as human beings of this world we are in a constant state of "want." I am tired of always wanting more. It is like does this not ever get tiring always thinking i need more and more of this useless stuff the world has to offer.

We can only ever be truly as rich as we feel in our hearts. Don't you think that it would be a much better idea to grow closer to Jesus and do right by him so that we may start building our treasures in heaven. I know that i would rather store up all my treasure in a place and life that is eternal, where they will actually last. Rather than this earth we live in. What good would money and material things be to me here if in a matter of seconds they could be ripped away? How fulfilling would it be to be a millionaire for one day!? Only to die the next day, now what? What is your money good for now? What do you have to show for it? Nothing, absolutely NOTHING!

I wish i could satisfy this feeling of want but i do not think it can ever go away. All i can do is praise God for what he has done and remember that it could be so much worse. If i can not appreciate what i already have then what good is more going to do. Only make me a less appreciative person taking things for granted! I don't want to be that person that doesn't appreciate what they even have. This world is a stressful place. Did you know that 99% of being ill is all in your mind. Stress alone can kill you. And the "stress" of "wanting" and "needing" more is sending us all to an early grave. I know that it is hard to relax and just know Jesus will provide especially when the bills are due tomorrow and you have about a $1 to your name. But trusting him is all we can do. Lets all try and lean on God and remember that more is not always better.

au revoir xoxo belle

To see in her heart:

in her heart you will see a blessing

one sent straight from our love above

it gives her the power to be true

and give her friendship through and through

there is just something deep inside

that gives her the ability to open wide

all the love and care

that a heart can truly bear

there are many things that are hard to believe

especially those things that are unseen

but once you see her warmth and light

everything else will feel alright

by the love of above she is here to stay

and give this life a second play

the wisdom she shares

is from her heart that truly cares

so open your eyes

and see what is there

it is a person who is bright

and full of his light

so down on her knees she will pray

for Gods sweet grace everyday

to keep on showing

how much she is growing

in her heart you will see a blessing

one sent straight from our love above

it gives her the power to be true

and give her friendship through and through

* i love you miss alexis WIFEY you are amazing to me!*

AU REVOIR XOXO BELLE

MY FAV MOViE SCENE RIGHT NOW!

i know i live the life of a sinner

You know at some point in life there comes a time when you just have to say im done i give up.. haha no im just kidding.. NEVER give up! But sometimes you have to understand that letting certain things go and giving them to God is not giving up. It is having the mature ability to understand that some things are just bigger than us and we need help with them. To ask for help should never be something you are afraid to do. Especially when you need to ask God for help. He is ALWAYS there with open arms wiling to pull you out of the deepest of holes. And honestly you never know what kind of outcome you are going to have because well thats just the thing about life. Everything is a mystery until it comes. But when you give your issues to God im 100% sure that 100% of the things you ask for help with come out 100 times better than they would have if you tried to do them on your own. Now come on i know how hard it is to just let certain things go and give up control. But really it is the only REAL and GOOD way to deal with issues especially GOD SIZED issues. And hello, if it is a "GOD SIZED" issue why are we not giving it to him. Because i know we all know he can FIX it. Well giving up control is hard to do i understand that more than you know. So basically what im saying is that i NEVER GIVE UP, but i do GIVE "stuff" "issues" "problems" "challenges" hard times" "discouragement" "heart break" "pain".. (the list goes on) UP TO HIM!! I truly believe this would be a great challenge for all of us.. But how fulfilled will we be in the END!! well.... i guess you won't know till you try.. GOOD LUCK!

au revoir xoxo BELLE

70s ROCK AND ROLL

hahaha this morning has been the funniest thing ever

i just spent like an hour sitting with my pops on my lap top

looking up and listening to 70's rock music... hahaha my dad is

the absolute best i SWERRRR... it was hilarious haha

and he is the funniest person i know... now we are just chillin

watchin ENTOURAGE... ummm trust me i know you wish u

had a dad that was as COOL AS MINE NO FRIGGIN JOKE

AHHHHHH i LOVE HIM!!

My Treasure!

-TREASURE-

Today was unexpected

When you realize what I’ve detected

I stumbled across some treasure.

But it was nothing you can measure.

I am sure I wasn’t on a hunt.

It was a surprise to me it’s true.

For a second there my heart felt new.

When I found something I couldn’t undo.

So if I tell you what I found

Can you keep a secret and not make a sound?

If people hear what I have discovered

They might try to steal it and take it undercover.

If you look into my eyes.

You might just see what I have found.

The most precious gift of all

And it is right there on the ground.

Just look a little closer

Look deep down through my eyes

Look straight into my heart

Where a bond grew from the start.

So if I tell you what I found.

Can you keep a secret and not make a sound?

Just use my eyes like little mirrors

And this will all be so much clearer

I stumbled across some treasure

A pure delightful pleasure

I will never let this precious gift go

Because I’m sure that it will grow.

So what I’m trying to tell you

Is if you look again into my eyes

You might see a beautiful reflection of the treasure

That lies inside.

I hope you figured it out

Because I really don’t want to shout

That the treasure I’m looking at is true

Because it is you!

-Natasha Kira Hutton

Au Revoir xoxo Belle

IT IS HARD TO MOVE!

This is a poem i wrote that just kinda came to me

haha sometimes i just start thinking and i gotta

write it down.. i hope you like it..

MOVE:

it is hard to move when it feels like

all my chains are connected to you

how do you do what you do

it's like magic in the air when

i see your beautiful face over there

how come the world can be so unfair

so i sit

and when i sit i think

and when i think i see

and when i see i dream

and when i dream its you

i know these feelings are true

could you let go for a moment

so i can breath

cause the passion is strong

it's been building all along

our time is ticking

it's taking a chance

just give me one last glance

so i sit

and when i sit i think

and when i think i see

and when i see i dream

and when i dream its you

i know these feelings are true

-Natasha Kira Hutton

(i love writing poetry and just writing in general about everything and anything)

Let me know if there is anything you would like me to write about.. i would love help from you guys :)

Au Revoir xoxo Belle

LATE NiGHT KiSS

*So0o0o i am really not gonna lie.. this is a pretty friggin nice lookin Kiss haha *

au revoir xoxo belle

NO BEUNO @ ALL.

i FEEL LIKE CRAP && i KNOW U KNOW Y!

i heard what u did!!

Dear Lord,

i just pray that you please help me conquer this feeling inside i have today

and keep all those in need close to ur heart..

Amen!

Philippians 4:13

au revoir xoxo belle

p.s.

i just found a cheerio in my rug...

A FUNNY FEELiNG

The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight

Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time
I am here still waiting though i still have my doubts
I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out

The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead
I still see your reflection inside of my eyes
That are looking for a purpose, they're still looking for life

I'm hangin' on another day
Just to see what you throw my way
And I'm hanging on to the words you say
You said that I will be OK

The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone
I may have lost my way now, haven't forgotten my way home

i am so excited to see this movie. I hope that it is good.

Although i know that i am going to be BALLING the whole time.

FACTS ABOUT NATASHA:

1. i am very emotional.

2. i love movies that make me cry.

3. i love music, it soothes my soul.

4. i always feel a lil Lost!?

5. i have a constant need for Jesus!

au revoir xoxo belle

ANSWERS PLEASE!

You know i Feel like sometimes there are just some things in life that CONFUSE the crap out of you. It's like really God come on!? i HATE that, i honestly want to know the answer to EVERYTHING and i want to know the answers on my TIME! Right?! But God has other plans and well his always out weigh mine! And that makes me mad! As i sit here i just think of all the things i want answers to... And it's making me so frustrated that i want to scream... i guess some things are better left unanswered till we are ready for them..

When answers seem so distant

as time just lingers on

Just close your eyes and pray

and remember everyday

that God has a perfect plan

a destiny tailored just for you

and if you follow his wishes

your dreams will come true!

Quote by: Natasha Kira Hutton

au revoir xoxo belle

I WAS LOST AN NOW I AM FOUND..

I am lost in a sea of confusion, covering a world of delusion, cared for by the Lord of affection. I want to be found by the Lord of affection to conquer this world of delusion so i can swim out of this sea of confusion!

Quote by: Natasha Kira Hutton

au revoir xoxo belle

CANCER FIGHTER hello :)

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Wednesday, October 29, 2008 at 4:13pm | Edit Note | Delete

HI everyone..
wow i just want to say how much i LOVE reading all of your little comments you leave on my website for me (FIGHTINGFORNATASHA.COM). And all of you who have donated i cant even begin to say what a TRUE blessing from GOD this all is.. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU ARE TRULY AMAZING IN MY EYES. All of your prayers are the absolute biggest blessing i could have ever asked for. I have so much FAITH in GOD right now and its so important to me to know how you all have faith in me to beat this. I know the lord works in mysterious ways and sometimes he puts us through challenges like these only to make us stronger and to teach us about the importance of life, and what it means to live a life through him... i honestly do not know what i would do without my faith in the Lord.. at times i do get angry at the fact that i have to go through this and i often ask myself why me? But i know the Lord is looking down on me saying Natasha my love why not you? He has so many great things in store for me and i know my illness will never go down in vain. THERE is a HUGE lesson for many people to learn from what i am going through. God can heal me in one second if he wanted to but i know there are so many more things we can all learn from this experience. All in all i have become a person i never thought i could be. My whole life has changed for the better through all of this and i thank the Lord everyday for the chance to wake up and see the people i love! i dont worry about tomorrow because today has enough worry of its own, i take each day one at a time and i take each day as a TRUE blessing. There is nothing more i can ask for. although i know my true home is in heaven i will never give up and i will never back down. The Lord he wants us to have Faith in him so that we may have the best life on earth as we can. I look at my illness as a journey. If what i have to go through is going to change my life and teach others how precious our time here is Then im fully ready to take on the FIGHT. all in all I LOVE YOU ALL FOR YOUR SUPPORT and PRAYERS i cant even EXPLAIN ENOUGH how much you guys encourage me to continue on everyday your simple words mean more than you know!! THANK YOU EVERYONE from the bottom of my heart...
LOVE from the BOTTOM OF MY HEART, Natasha Kira Hutton

This is the prayer i pray every time i feel like i cant go on...
"i can do all things through christ who strengthens me" -philipians 4:13